Well father's day was a mixed bag this year. Marian did what she could to make it great but she's had to work the last few days. Turkish lunch and shopping for boots was fun - even though there's little selection in a 14 extra wide so I ended up ordering them online. But in a few days James and I will have matching cowboy/work boots!
I tried to spend some time with my dad working on a project at his house in the evening but James was not on his best behavior. He ended up chasing his younger cousin around spraying him with a garden hose despite his cries to stop. I did my part to discipline him but a little later he was back at it. I ended up taking him home even though I wasn't done helping my dad and pizza was on the way for dinner.
I'm upset that I didn't get to spend more time with my dad but hopefully he understands that because of the way he raised me, my goal is to raise my son to be the best man he can be. At this point in his life, a big part of that is discipline. If he doesn't learn that he needs to respect others as people and learn to obey just authority now, he will have a much harder time of it later. The very last thing I want is for my son to grow up to be self-centered and entitled and to use others and treat them as less than himself.
On the way home we actually had pretty good conversation about respecting others, understanding how God has the authority over us and has set up levels of authority in the world that are to be respected and obeyed as long as they are in line with God's greater will. In the car he actually straight up asked me "what does bad mean?" I'd never really thought about it before but it's a concept that needs explanation. Until he understands that bad is diverging from the boundaries that have been set for you by those who are in authority over you including but not limited to the way you should treat other people, it doesn't do any good to simply say "that was bad" or "you're being bad."
I know, he's three right? And these are things that I am still grasping to understand fully as a parent. But thanks in large part to the encouragement of my wife, I do my best to respond to his questions in a way he can understand as teaching moments rather than ignoring them or simply saying "because I said so." Yes sometimes I do fall back to that and I know at some points I'm probably too harsh but I'm doing my best.
So, I'm sitting here reflecting on the day. It wasn't a day of great relaxation and family fun. But on my 4th fathers day, I can definitely say that I understand what it means to be a father more than I did yesterday, to say nothing of father's day of 2013. I have so much more to learn and I know I will screw up repeatedly. I pray that God will continue to guide me with grace to be a better father as I guide my son with grace into being a better man.
Happy father's day
